The lies parents tell themselves and others


I haven’t been a parent long, but it’s been long enough to know that half the things I said I’d always or never do before kids were lies. I guess that’s why always and never are two words we should always remember never to use eh?

Here’s a few lies we told ourselves and anyone else who would listen before we had our first child.

1. We won’t use the iPad or our phones as babysitters. Yep, just downloaded The Bug’s first app a few weeks ago. Peekaboo Barn if you’re interested.

2. I’ll breastfeed until she weans herself. (And, it’ll be the most amazing, filled-with-rainbows-and-glitter experience ever.)

3. My baby will only be given un-processed organic food I’ve made myself. If you know of a way (that doesn’t involve eating in a closet) to keep a baby from ice cream, chips and the other good things in life, let me know.

4. By four months old, my baby will be sleeping through the night. Ha.

5. I will not be one of those moms who hangs onto baby weight and says the age-old adage “nine months on, nine months off …” Yeah, guilty as charged, I may or may not have muttered those very words to a friend last week.

What lies did you believe, or what ultimatums did you give before having children? I hear ones about tantrums a lot, but we aren’t really there yet. Though, I’m not naive enough to think it won’t happen.



Natalie Feulner

About Natalie Feulner

Natalie Feulner is a journalist and “semi-crunchy” cloth diapering momma to a rambunctious toddler named after a county in California. She drinks too much tea and loves to climb rocks but not at the same time.